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A Fathers perspective of a huge family, finally…..

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growing up

The Perfect Storm

As this time of the year approaches, we as parents get both excited and a bit frightened for the coming weeks.  It is the start of the school year, and with it comes a whole myriad of emotions, both on our part and the kids.  The other part of this tale is that working in the pediatric world of dentistry, the weeks leading up to the start of school equates to pure madness at the office.  Urgency ensues, and everyone wants to get that appointment done before the truancy officer comes knocking.  It seems as if school administrators have become entirely to harsh for missed school due to doctors appointments, but thats for another time.  Our very busy days, turn into sheer madness in the last week of July to the third week of August.  Some days we can barely catch our collective breath!  The slow down has hit, finally, and we can play catch up on the summer that was a complete blur, or so one would think.  Then this past week hit….brace yourself.

August 17th:

The last Monday of summer break for most of the local schools, which is the equivalent of panic to get that last appointment in before the first day of school.  The schedule is packed and that is not even counting the home front, oh and we started back to regular hours, 8-5.  No more summer hours, and everyone is a little grumpy!  We had a mutual separation from our long time (8 years strong) nanny and this was the first full week of the new nanny!  As one could envision, my best friend is beside herself with animosity about how all this will work out.  Can she hack life with SEVEN boys, not to mention twin 10 month olds?  Combine that with a schedule that has maybe one opening, which of course will be filled by some sort of emergency, and we have the makings of a manic Monday.  All things considered the day goes fairly smoothly and the week begins.  Over the weekend our 8 year old, Gray, has a recurring pain in the lower left quadrant of his abdomen that raised a little concern…should we make a visit to the doctor?  See, earlier this year, Beau the Maniac, has the same sort of thing only a bit more acute, the result was an appendectomy.  Anatomically speaking, about the only thing possible to be wrong in a males lower right quadrant is the appendix being enflamed.  So one of our team of family members that help at the house takes the little man to the doctors visit.  That visit turns into an appointment at the imaging center for an ultrasound of his belly, so momma leaves to head that way.  He has all the clinical hallmarks for an appendectomy.  The result…inconclusive…what do we do, or better yet what does the doc decide to do…Room 310, here we come, admitted for observation.  Bear in mind this is gauntlet week and its the middle of the day, but we are parents and one of us must go…ugh.  They spend the night in the hospital with no decision and I managed to get 6 kids in bed, but she had to sleep in the hospital….I  will take the 6 kids!

August 18th:

Same song and dance, as far as the routine of chaos that we call the end of summer.  Crazy schedule, tripping over each other, and the natives at home are restless for school to start.  Oh, and I have to get this done by myself, which is no small task. I have never once taken for granted how invaluable and irreplaceable my beautiful wife is and its days like these that make me even more appreciative for all she does.  The day flies by and there is not even any time to go and visit my son in the hospital.  Still no decision, but leaning towards no surgery!!  The only problem is there is another twist to this story.  We had our god daughter spend the night on Sunday and by Tuesday we find out she had Hand Foot and Mouth disease…things just got potentially worse.  So Gray gets discharged, which takes all but 8 hours, another day lost, but he doesn’t have to get his belly operated on and that makes us ecstatic.  The only problem is he misses the “meet the teacher” day, as does momma.  I think I mentioned once or twice we have a lot of kids and even when one is under the weather, the other 6 still need parenting. The good news is, thanks to the team that makes this family function, the day is saved!

August 19th:

Here we go, the first day of school…the office will slow down, the boys will get in bed early, and the house will see order.  Everyone gets off to school without a hitch; Brenden 11th grade, Colin 10th grade, Beau 3rd grade, Gray 2nd grade, and Quinn kindergarten, hard to believe time has gone by so fast.  Of course the morning consists of the normal lunacy of getting everyone ready.  Blair comes to help and take first day pictures, what a great day to see your kids grow up to become these young men in uniforms and ties, and its off to school.  Oh, and Gray is just a little stopped up….but the afore mentioned hand foot and mouth disease had reared its ugly head.  The twins start to run a fever…

August 20th:

The morning starts with Quinn running a fever, and the twins have more of the same, with a couple of lesions popping up on the lips.  The trouble with contagious diseases and having a big family is there is no such thing as containment, especially when the two youngest happen to be twins!  The mess ensues and it is going to get ugly, in more ways then one.  The thing about this disease is it is extremely painful and dehydration is very common.  My poor dreamboats do not know what is going on, other then they have a fever and are hurting.  So sad….

August 21st:

Ahh, its finally Friday, except that the third day of this virus is the peak and it did hit a high.  We are all working on very little sleep, agitated, yet epithetic to the struggle these little men are going through.  It is just not fun to have half the house struggle while the other half sit around with nothing to do but wait for the storm to pass.  The up side is school has started well and everyone is happy.  This is 15 year olds first year at a new school and is living full time at the house, finally all the boys reunite!  It will take some adjusting on all of our parts, but the is life in a family, right….

The weekend is more of the same, blisters on hands, feet, faces…we are a family of lepers at this point!  It is ugly and I am not so sure I have willed a week to be over as much as this one.  Would have been possible to squeeze and more suffering and stress into seven days…probably, but it would have been tough.  The upside is we bonded together, both at the office as a family and at home.  It is hard to keep a strong unit down with the love and determination that binds this one together.

Bottom line is this, struggles build character, adversity makes us realize how much we can conquer, and perseverance leads us to the new tomorrow.  The sun will rise and tomorrow will bring new surprises.  I heard someone say once that “this too shall pass”…words we could all live by, and low and behold it is passing.

2014, I am sure glad to see you go……wait, it was pretty spectacular!

So I started writing this post about 2 weeks ago and realized it was all wrong.  The information was all correct, but my perspective was skewed.  After spending many years reading Malcolm Gladwell books, I have come to the hard truth that perspective is everything.  I was taking a retrospective look at 2014 and painting a dismal picture of how rough and horrible this past year was to me.  As I took a much closer inspection it was quite the opposite, it was pretty spectacular.

2014 has been filled with risk, reward, love, happiness, success, stress, and most of all family!  This past year has brought me a greater appreciation for the finer things that make us men who we are for our families. We are the disciplinarians, the fixers, the coaches, the pinewood derby car makers, basically we make sure all the loose pieces don’t get lost, because we have no clue how to put those pieces back together.  The superwoman makes the world correct again by organizing the pieces to the right spots.  I awoke in 2015 knowing that, not only would this be a great year, but that it is only going to be great because of what went down in 2014.

For all the stress and worry that went in to the last half of 2014, just like everything else in life, it was not all that bad.  We grew both professionally and personally, literally!  What could possibly be wrong with growth?

This morning I woke up, the alarm went off at 5:15, and I looked to my right….my amazing, beautiful, strong wife was there, fast asleep.  She is quite stunning while she sleeps, and all I could do is smile, because life is really good.  I then glanced to my left……..IMG_3393and I see the Dreamboats snuggled, fast asleep.  At that moment I know, this life is so incredibly perfect.  We went through the last few months of 2014 thinking, how difficult and testing this life is right now.  Now I know it was just that, a test, an examination of our intestinal fortitude, and once again I concluded that we can take more than our minds believe we can and, best of all, we can do it with style and grace.

So far in 2015 we have survived the influenza outbreak, the continued saga of a remodel, the holiday hangover, and the Dreamboats.  We have had 3 with the flu, and I have never seen one woman become such a germ destroyer, but have managed to keep the babies well, so far.  My oldest, who as you remember moved in, in September and started a new school, is doing amazing.  He is putting in the hard work and it is paying off!  The rest of these crazy boys are geared up for another fun year!

As with any new year people go through making resolutions, starting new diets, and joining various gyms in an attempt to slim down.  I have always thought this was a foolish endeavor that rarely resulted in a life changing metamorphosis.  Why can’t we just pick up where we left off and keep rolling?  Have our goals and lifelong aspirations really changed from year to year?  Mine has not and I see no reason to change what it is I am trying to accomplish in life.  I want to be a great husband, lover, father, cook, small business owner, boss, friend, clinician, and role model.  Nothing of that list will change whether it is January or October, 1999 or 2015, I still want the same lifetime achievements.  My goal is to live everyday like there is nothing tomorrow.  Carpe diem, seize the day, and fill every day with good food, friends, and most of all family.

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Thanksgiving….Anniversary….2 months old….and life rolls on

Wow, we blinked and there went 2 months and a bunch of big family events. I feel like I haven’t written in quite sometime and I must admit I missed it, when I had time to think about it! What an absolute blur life has become as of late, even with the social calendar all but canceled. The office remodel is nearly complete, the dreamboats turned 2 months, we celebrated a decade together, oh and there was Thanksgiving to top it all off, whew.

10 years…one full decade is quite an accomplishment and it is hard to fathom that we envisioned all that would occur in that time.  Lets see, we graduated dental school, completed a residency and fellowship, had a son, bought a practice, had a son, had another son, bought another practice, merged the two, remodeled the office, and had two more sons (at once!).  For most people, that would be a full LIFETIME and we are just getting started!  I must reveal that with all the moving parts that engulf our life, there is no one I would rather take this roller coaster with then my super woman.  Thank you beautiful for an amazing 10 years and a fun-filled beginning of decades together, this will be very interesting in the coming years.

2 months….The dreamboats are now 8 weeks old, which is unbelievable.  It seems as if they have always been with us.  It is a weird metaphysical feeling that this family always had them with us even when they were but a thought.  I love them more than anything, and knowing that this is it has made me relish every little thing.  They get rocked a little longer, talked too a little more often, and definitely kissed on more than any babies on earth.  They truly are amazing and going out with twins has been a blessing for sure.  I think we really thought life would be impossible before they were born, but it all just falls into place.  I tell people all the time that life with 7 kids is not as hard as one would imagine, the more kids you have the easier it gets.  Yes, that sounds as if I have skipped a few doses of my medication and need to be committed, but I stand by that statement.  The machine runs smoother as each family member learns their role in the family and starts accepting those responsibilities.  They come to realize, if they don’t do it no one is coming behind them to pick up the pieces.  It all just works!

Tonight we went to a celebration of a dear friends birthday.  She is turning over another decade and she came to me to ask why I had not written for a while.  She was half-joking because she knows what our life looks like right now, but I smiled inside.  I started this blog to give a fresh perspective of life through a dads eyes, but also as a “therapy” session for myself.  Tonight I realized that people actually read it and appreciate the words, and that means a lot to me.  So to the birthday girl, cheers and thanks for your friendship and the small words that you had no idea meant so much.  I hope you had a blast at you party!  There will not be a long hiatus to the next chapter in this saga.

 

 

Day One…..I think it might have taken its toll!

Off to the new school...
Off to the new school…

This was a very proud moment as a father.  There is something special about watching your oldest make a passage towards manhood by making sacrifices.  Sometimes in life we have to go back in order to move forward.  Ahhhh, maybe all this gray hair over the years has actually meant something?!

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…..and after the first day at the new school

I guess this pic speaks for itself…..uphill battles build character, but can also take a lot out of you in the process.  Keep your head up son, and don’t drool on your shirt!

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